What if we run away?
What if we lost today?
We say goodbye to safe
What if we are hard to find?
What if we lost our minds?
We let them fall behind
And they are never found?
Troye Sivan (Youth)
Tobi could tell from the corner of his eye how despicable the stare Tife was giving him was. Tife was sitting on the couch with a notebook on her laps but Tobi could tell she wasn’t even reading it. They were both alone in the house as thier parents, who had been acting like teenager’s in love went out for a picnic.
The only thing Tife had been doing all day was staring at him like that would make him explode or something. Or the part where she just comes into his room while he is there, poke her head from behind the door, hiss, say ‘Lame’, then close the door after her. Or just say ‘Lame’ whenever she ran into him inside the house.
Yeah, It’s that creepy.
Tobi wasn’t really surprised about his sister’s crazy attitude. Her attitude only suggests she was mad at him about something and being someone who is not very good at keeping malice, she makes it obvious by doing that. The bad thing about it is she could go on like this for days or weeks until something big distracts her or she decides to give it up herself for reasons best known to her.
The last time she did something similar to this was when Tobi supported his Mum’s proclamation of not allowing her go for the Prom night she badly wanted to attend when she was just thirteen or so. Trust me when I say it was so bad that Tobi heard her voice scream ‘Lame!’ at him in his dreams.
Tobi had only chose to ignore her this time around even though she had always succeeded in getting on his nerves. He has better things to do than just wonder what he had done to offend her. Better things like wondering why Tori’s number had been unavailable all day. He had been worried about her and had dreaded the possibility of her doing something utterly stupid because of the guilt she claimed she was feeling. He played with his phone not sure whether to go see her like he ought to or sit right where he was as that would protray him less stalking.
‘Lame!’ Tife said and hissed. Tobi turned to her and she had her gaze was fixed on her book which Tobi was sure as hell she wasn’t reading.
Okay, time to cut the crap.
‘Just spit it out. What is it this time?’ Tobi sat upright to look at his little sister. His annoyance growing rapidly every second. He knew he was supposed to ignore her but she was getting into his head too much and wasn’t allowing free flow of important thoughts.
‘Huh..’ Tife huffed and slammed her notebook closed to look right at him too, propping her finger at his face. ‘You know you are a waste of time and talents, right?’
Tobi was supposed to be impressed that Tife said he had talents for the first time since she was opportuned to be given birth to but somehow he wasn’t. She just called him a WASTE!
‘Don’t tell me you had been given me death stares all day because of ‘that!’ I don’t even know what you are talking about!’ Tobi said. He knew he shouldn’t have taken her serious in the first place.
‘You wasted my time and my talent! I gave you my expensive fashion tips, wasting my time in the process, hoping and knowing you would get a ‘Yes’ from Tori because there is no way she would say No to you rocking my tips but amazingly, somehow, you didn’t even ask her out!’ Tife said laying emphasis on every word. ‘It’s so annoying and lame!’
Tobi had no idea what to say but the raised eyebrow plus lips twisted in disbelief said it all. He wasn’t expecting this to be her reason.
‘And how is that even your problem? It’s not like you’d benefit anything from it.’ Tobi said not believing his sister was bothered by ‘that’.
‘It’s not my problem. Fine, but your reluctance only implies one thing. It implies you aren’t over Jo yet which actually changes your infatuation case from pathetic to super pathetic!’ Tife said then added with a sigh ‘I give up on you.’ She leaned back on the chair staring depressingly at the roof.
‘I’m so over Jo and you know it too. She doesn’t even think about me the way I did. Although, it’s late now but I’ve come to realize she might never like me the way I did. In the past. I was never going to become that special someone to her.’ Tobi said although, Tife was still staring at the ceiling.
Tobi didn’t put much effort into his speech. He need not convince Tife when he was confident he was merely stating a fact. A fact that took him rather too long to accept.
‘And about Tori, I don’t know which one of her unique characteristics attracted her to me. It’s hard to tell which but with her, everything seems perfect. She feels like the first right choice I’m making in my life. I’m not withholding anything back when it comes to asking her out. I’m only scared I might get rejected once again and I’m being careful of that. Being careful not to ask at the wrong time. And now is not just right. Tori is going through a lot if you must know.’ Tobi could see Tife smiling at him but the smile disappeared when she felt his eyes on her. He didn’t even know when she tore her gaze off the ceiling and back at him. She seemed impressed but was afraid of showing it.
‘Okay. You sounded so believable with that speech of yours so I’m going to trust you just this once.’ Tife said and opened her notebook once again only to close it back. ‘But why is the right time taking forever?’ She half groaned, half cried.
‘Speaking of why I have to be at her place right now.’ Tobi said, rising. ‘Her number hadn’t been available and I’m so worried.’ He said drawing his crumpled shirt down with his hands.
‘Oh’ Tife snapped her finger like a great idea just popped into her head making Tobi stop walking to the door to look at her.
‘If you get to her place and everything is perfect, would you try asking her out?’ Tife asked, her eyes brightening up in anticipation for his answer.
‘Huh.. I really can’t say…’ Tobi replied
‘Can I come with you then?’ Tife asked, springing up before Tobi could reply.
‘No. You have to stay at home and read.’ Tobi said with a faked stern look. ‘Besides Mum and Dad have to meet someone at home when they get back.’
Tobi stylishly ditched his little sister who groaned and sat back down.
Hr hurried out of the living and let out a sigh of relief when he got outside.
Taking Tife with him would mean a total disaster. She’d just blow up his cover and mess up his game for him.
Jo didn’t know why Tori’s words kept echoing in her head all through the drive home and even when she eventually got home. She scribbled one last word on her diary and closed it. She placed the diary and her pen under her pillow, hoping getting some sleep would flush out every memory of Tori out of her head. Placing her head on the pillow, she tried to get some sleep only for that simple task to seem impossible as her eyes refused to shut after about twenty minutes of lying down.
She was supposed to be relieved she got rid of Tori. She was supposed to be glad that Tori left despite her fear that she wasn’t going to take her threat serious and was going to appear before her mum, tell her everything that occurred between them a few hours ago which might end up being disastrous for Jo knowing exactly who her mum was going to support.
The fear that hung on her heart was giving her headache. Scared of the possibility of having her little secret in the open, she had locked herself in her room since she got back and had resorted to writing some stuffs in her diary (not her secret though). When that didn’t get her mind off everything she was trying to forget, she had tried sleeping which ended up being another futile attempt.
Just a few minutes ago, she almost dialled Tobi’s number to verify if Tori was there only to dismiss the idea as that would be very suspicious as Tobi would question the sudden interest in her.
Confused and lost on what to do. She had resorted into sitting down and watching how everything would eventually turn out to be.
‘Johanna?’ Her mum’s voice calling her name, followed by three consecutive knocks jolted her back into sitting position, frightened of what awaited her behind the closed door.
‘Jo??’ Her mum called again after which she knocked once. Jo detected no anger in her voice nor sense anything alarming. Her mum’s voice was just as plain as plain could be.
She rose doubtfully from her bed and walked to the door. Hesitantly turning the key in the keyhole then turning the door knob to open the door.
‘Huh’ Jo raised her brow slowly to show how less concerned she was to whatever her mum was about to say when the opened door revealing her mum with worry strewed across face.
‘Hmmm… Tori was supposed to be back hours ago. It’s a few minutes past eight already and she isn’t here. I’ve been trying to call her but her number is not available. I’m just wondering if she had things to do in the hospital that could make her stay back this late. Or do you think she probably dropped by at Tobi’s place?’ Ebiere asked holding out her phone to compliment her statement.
Jo was relieved it was her plan working perfectly fine and not the other way round as she had feared. Tori really took her serious.
Jo shrugged the fear off her and displayed the original reaction she was supposed to display.
‘And how would I know about that?’ She asked rhetorically making sure her voice was laced with detest. ‘When did you start getting ideas I care about what Tori does and what she doesn’t?’ Jo replied making sure her raised eyebrow showed just how much less concerned she was. She tried to close the door only for Ebiere to stop her by placing her hand with a hold so strong, Jo never knew she her mum could muster.
‘Are you still going to be like this after I told you she is my long lost daughter?’ Ebiere’s face displayed nothing but hurt. ‘I was expecting you to help me gain her love and trust by treating her nicely, hoping your detest for her would reduce and you’ll act like sisters but I never knew I was this wrong. You just showed me how selfish you can be!’ Ebiere spat every word out not regretting any part of her speech.
Jo released her hold on the door to leave it wide open. If her mum was steaming up for a word battle, she’d let her have it.
‘I never knew you could call someone selfish. We both know who the selfish one here is. It definitely is you! You never really cared for me in the past. Not like a real mother the way I was expecting the moment I got adopted by you and your husband and not even like a foster mother the way you were supposed to be. It was somehow expected because it was even your husband’s idea to adopt. You treated me like I don’t need anything aside clothing, money and all other material things. I’m human and I need love and care too!’ Jo tried her best in holding back the tears in her eyes but a tear succeeded in falling off her left eye onto her left cheek. Ignoring it, Jo continued.
‘I don’t know why the attraction for you grew this much but I never wanted another mother. I don’t even know who my real mother was or is and I don’t want to! The only mother I’ve always wanted to show me love and care is you but you never did. You never gave this poor girl the only thing she wanted from you!’ She yelled into Ebiere’s face to make her point before continuing again.
‘And just when I thought everything was going right for me, thinking you stopped travelling because you needed to spend much time with me, you blew my hopes up as it only ended up being a farce! You were staying back because of your daughter! It was like I never existed since you she got here, you neglected me….’
Jo heart thumped and she stopped talking, and directed her gaze to the sitting room when she heard a knock come from there. Ebiere was also looking in the direction of the sitting room and one could tell the thought going through the duo’s head was the same.
There could only be one person at the door.
Ebiere hurried to the door and opened it only to reveal Tobi. Jo didn’t leave her room but stood rooted to a spot while she carefully listened to the conversation in the sitting room.
‘Oh, I thought it was Tori or did you come with her?’ Ebiere asked opening the door wide enough to see if Tori was lurking behind it.
‘Huh… Tori is not home?’ Tobi asked immediately he processed the situation at hand with Ebiere’s statement. Slowly taking a step one after the other inside.
‘She isn’t. I thought she was at your place.’ Ebiere closed the door after Tobi, getting more worried.
‘I haven’t seen her today.’ Tobi said getting puzzled as well. ‘Or is she probably on Call tonight?’ It sounded much like a statement than a question.
‘She was working the morning shift. She left something around 6:30 this morning. She was on the same shift with Johanna but Johanna already got back hours ago.’ Ebiere answered.
‘I had been trying to…’ Tobi was about to say when his phone started ringing and he brought it out after asking for an excuse from Ebiere.
Seeing the caller I.D, he sighed with relief. ‘It’s Tori.’ She informed Ebiere before picking the call.
‘Where are…’ Tobi swallowed back his words and suddenly became mute and attentive with a shocked expression on his face. Ebiere looked at his face expectantly for clues.
‘Thanks. We’d be on our way now.’ Tobi said and hung up.
Not sure what to make of Tobi’s last statement, Ebiere gave him a curious stare.
‘Tori got involved in an accident.’ Tobi replied in a barely audible, rasped voics to the shock and surprise of Ebiere….
….and of course, Jo.
It’s heartbreaking to think that love might just not catch up with you. That night, after Smith walked out at the bus station, I sat down there for hours wondering how this situation had come Read more…